Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Do You Judge Yourself Harshly or Call Yourself Names?

YOU'RE SO STUPID! I say to myself sometimes. And I call myself other names as well, and I'm sure other people do the same thing. Why do we do that to ourselves? What can we do about it?

If you too, say the following words to yourself, maybe this article and video below will help you overcome that sort of thinking.

  • You're an idiot
  • You're so stupid
  • I look ugly
  • You can't do...

We also criticize ourselves and expect things of ourselves that we don't expect of other people. Very rarely do we talk to people the way we talk to ourselves. Unfortunately, that's a part of the negative thinking we learn as children.

Maybe your parents yelled at you and called you names, or the other kids at school criticized your clothes or the way you performed at sports or in class. Whatever the reason, there is a way to combat those negative thoughts.

How to Stop Judging Yourself Harshly

There are several methods we can use to stop judging ourselves harshly. I've found the following two methods to work well. Both have helped me change my life for the better.

  • Self-compassion
  • Positive affirmations

Self-compassion is treating yourself as you would a friend or family member. It's not too complicated to be nice to yourself, or to give yourself the same advice you'd give to a friend.

When you call yourself stupid, stop, then tell yourself, "I did the best I could" or something along those lines. Be nice to yourself every day and before you know it the negative thoughts will slowly diminish.

You can find self-compassion exercises here. Set a goal to say something nice to yourself every morning. Write it on a sticky note then paste it on your bathroom mirror so you'll remember to do it.

When you find yourself saying bad things, immediately tell yourself it's okay to mess up. It's okay not being perfect at everything. In fact, being kind to yourself in everyday life is in my experience, one of the best things you can do for yourself.

The best part about being nice to yourself and treating yourself with self-compassion, is that you'll begin to accept people as they are. You won't be as critical of others as well, which is a great way to live.

Listed below are three ways to be kind to yourself. The text was copied from the Positivity Blog.

Invest in yourself.

Spend 15-30 minutes in the morning or evening with reading, listening to or watching material that uplifts you, that helps you to understand yourself and the world or that helps you to live a better life.

Then, if possible, take one small action on what you have learned.

Find the truth and exception when an inner critic or outer critic attacks.

Your own inner critic may not always say nice things about you. People around you may attack you or try to bring you down to serve one of their own needs.

If you or someone else does this, ask yourself this question:

What is the exception to this though?

This is effective to change your train of thoughts, to find the truth and to not get down on yourself.

For example, if you or someone says that you are not doing a good job in school then you can ask the question and find answers that tell you that isn’t really true. If you question the attack and look for the exception you may for instance see that you are actually doing a good job in most of your courses, but may be a bit unfocused and lazy in math and geography.

That is a more nuanced truth that helps you rather than just brings you down.

Unstress tonight.

Take a long bath and read something to escape. Or work out. Or talk to someone about something that is on your mind and let it all out.

Video - Be Kind to Yourself

This video isn't too long. Take the time to view it now. It may help you change your thinking for the better. Remember, it's not hard to practice self-compassion.

Please be sure to bookmark this blog. And share this post now on your Facebook page.

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