Hi Mary Beth,
I forgot to mention in my last email that I don't want to end services with CLF. As usual, you are right and I have to break this pattern of ending relationships quickly.
As hard as it is for me, I still want you to be my case manager. Let's meet for a couple minutes at the end of the month. I think I'll feel comfortable with that. Please don't expect too much conversation from me. And don't expect to meet for more than five minutes.
And please try to remember that I have mental health issues. I repeat myself because I don't remember what I told someone and I have very low self-esteem. On top of that I relapsed and the drugs really change the way I think about people. I become embarrassed to talk to 'straight' people and I just want to be left alone. I have three days clean and I am still going to outpatient.
Part of my reasoning for wanting to end services was because I know you are getting tired of me and my stupid ideas. Every one gets tired of me eventually so I'm used to it and I don't blame you or think bad of you in any way.
Sometimes I feel like you are judging me the way you look at my dirty clothes or dirty socks. But hey, that's the way you are and I accept you like that.
I'm still not used to having a place to live or doing laundry. In fact, I haven't done laundry since I moved into the Tropica! I wash my stuff in the bath tub when I get disgusted with myself for wearing dirty clothes. Please try to remember that I was homeless for nine years and I often wore the same clothes for weeks at a time.
Change comes very slow for me.
I know you are only trying to help me when you suggest things. I get stuck half the time and I don't know how to deal with problems. Since Open Hand cut my food allotment I am hungry a lot. Yet I don't go to the food banks to get food and fix the problem. I just lay in bed and starve. I've lost a lot of weight so don't be surprised when you see me.
I forgot to mention in my last email that I don't want to end services with CLF. As usual, you are right and I have to break this pattern of ending relationships quickly.
As hard as it is for me, I still want you to be my case manager. Let's meet for a couple minutes at the end of the month. I think I'll feel comfortable with that. Please don't expect too much conversation from me. And don't expect to meet for more than five minutes.
And please try to remember that I have mental health issues. I repeat myself because I don't remember what I told someone and I have very low self-esteem. On top of that I relapsed and the drugs really change the way I think about people. I become embarrassed to talk to 'straight' people and I just want to be left alone. I have three days clean and I am still going to outpatient.
Part of my reasoning for wanting to end services was because I know you are getting tired of me and my stupid ideas. Every one gets tired of me eventually so I'm used to it and I don't blame you or think bad of you in any way.
Sometimes I feel like you are judging me the way you look at my dirty clothes or dirty socks. But hey, that's the way you are and I accept you like that.
I'm still not used to having a place to live or doing laundry. In fact, I haven't done laundry since I moved into the Tropica! I wash my stuff in the bath tub when I get disgusted with myself for wearing dirty clothes. Please try to remember that I was homeless for nine years and I often wore the same clothes for weeks at a time.
Change comes very slow for me.
I know you are only trying to help me when you suggest things. I get stuck half the time and I don't know how to deal with problems. Since Open Hand cut my food allotment I am hungry a lot. Yet I don't go to the food banks to get food and fix the problem. I just lay in bed and starve. I've lost a lot of weight so don't be surprised when you see me.