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Saturday, January 3, 2015

Out of Rehab for 2 Months and Doing Okay

I'm sorry I haven't written for a while.  There are a few reasons for that the first of which is I moved out of the rehab I was in and I moved into a hotel.  It's expensive, but hey, this is San Francisco!

Besides, I'm in a county sponsored program which is helping me with housing and I have a case manager that's helping me stay sober.  I graduated Ferguson Place on October 7th and I've been living in this hotel room since then.  It's a small room, but I have my own bathroom.  I had to fight with the housing manager from the county to get a room with a private bath.  She wanted to place me in a housing program
View from Bed to Door in a room at Tropica Hotel
View from Bed Tropica Hotel
that was a quasi-sober living environment, but I declined because the bathroom was in the hallway.  Then she wanted to place me at another location and I declined again.  You gotta fight for what you want!

This room isn't bad.  It's in a very nice, upscale hotel which is quiet and clean and it's not full of drug addicts.

One of the reasons I haven't written a post is because I didn't have a desk or a table until recently.  As you can see from the pictures, there isn't a lot of space inside the room, but it's better than being homeless.

Another reason I haven't written for a while is because I relapsed, sort of.  I've been smoking weed and a month ago I started smoking crack a couple times a week.  I've decided to quit for good in 2015 and to reinvent myself into the person I want to become.
Tropica Hotel Fridge and Microwave
Fridge & Microwave

I've been isolating a lot by staying inside so one of my goals is to begin attending AA meetings.  I've been able to stay sober in the past by attending meetings every day and by talking to a couple people in recovery every day.  It's not as easy as it sounds, especially since I don't like to talk on the phone!  One of my main goals is to live better by avoiding stress so I have to get used to talking to recovering addicts and I have to start practicing mindfulness walking again.

Mindfulness walking is the easiest way to step into the present moment.  And being in the present moment is awesome.  From my experience, there is no stress in the present moment and it's incredibly relaxing.  In fact, you'll notice how relaxing it is after doing it a few times.

To walk mindfully is not hard and it's incredibly beneficial.  When I practiced it my posture improved to the point where I was able to sit with my back straight up without having to think about it and the pain I experienced in my lower back disappeared.  I highly recommend walking mindfully.

Don't worry, walking mindfully is easy.  What you do is say, 'right foot' when your right foot touches the ground, then 'left foot' when your left foot touches the ground.  This is the best way.  I've read blogs and articles that tell you to focus on your breath or something else.  Don't listen to those people!

In the beginning, walking mindfully is a constant remembering to say 'right foot' and 'left foot'.  That's okay.  When your mind wanders simply begin to say it again.  It'll get easier and you'll notice your posture begin improving in about a week or two.

Now that I have a table to place my computer I'll be writing more on Trying to Change My Life.  As usual please post a comment with a link back to your blog so I can go visit :-)